


torn

by whimsicalMelancholy



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, god i'm so sorry i have no idea how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:42:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27753274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicalMelancholy/pseuds/whimsicalMelancholy
Summary: akira doesn't forget easily.
Relationships: Asuka Ryo | Satan/Fudo Akira
Comments: 8
Kudos: 45





	torn

**Author's Note:**

> in case you wanna read the same god damn sentence starter literally like twenty times and see no capital letters this is the fic for you. enjoy

akira doesn't forget easily. 

he doesn't forget big moments to little events, every laugh, smile, and emotion in between. 

most importantly, he doesn't forget the darkest moments, the rawest emotions. 

he doesn't forget betrayal. 

he doesn't forget the night ryo forced a demon inside of him in a rotted church basement, vibrant in color and sound and reckless emotion, but dark in every lurking shadow waiting to strike. the beginning of the end. 

he doesn't forget the first time he tears apart demons, bile yellow blood spewing everywhere as he rips them apart in his own demonic way, ryo watching all the while. a human heart thrummed wildly in his chest, demonic blood pulsed deep through his veins. 

he doesn't forget slamming his skull against ryo's with enough force for both their heads to bleed very human blood, or the warmth of miki’s body he ignored the pain to protect. 

he doesn't forget that fateful television broadcast ryo spearheaded with no shred of humanity left to be seen, a disgustingly excited frenzy shining in ice cold eyes. 

he doesn't forget the moment ryo shed his humanity in front of his eyes, the blinding glow of satan reemerging on this earth, an otherworldly beauty that was a privilege and a curse to see. 

he doesn't forget the first time satan spoke, a voice beautifully gentle and ethereal belying intentions darker than the night sky, more calamitous than the world falling apart around them. 

he doesn't forget their fight, the war they waged on each other with only the intent to kill. 

and kill they did. 

akira doesn't forget the state satan left him in, torn apart heedlessly in the final moments before the end of the world. both himself and the two of them. 

akira would never, ever forget the hatred he felt for ryo, for satan. 

but he had to admit to himself that it wasn't all hate. it was never all bad. 

he doesn't forget meeting ryo for the first time, finding someone that would made his world so much brighter, so much more beautiful. 

he doesn't forget the time they had their first snowball fight, and the sheer exhilaration of hitting a very stunned ryo square in the face with a snowball, only to get one right back with surprising accuracy. he always had more fun when ryo was around.

he doesn't forget watching the eclipse with ryo, looking through their viewfinders at the moon slowly blotting out the sun in a brilliant display of the wonders in the sky above them. 

he doesn't forget the peaceful nights he lay with ryo, side by side under the gentle moon where the rabbit lived, talking about anything and everything just because he liked talking to ryo, being with him. 

he doesn't forget his unexpected but very not unwelcome reunion with his best friend, the joy in his heart that threatened to overflow as ryo called out his name with uncharacteristic excitement and affection in his voice. ryo spun him around with ease, and akira felt like when ryo was holding onto him tight, he'd always be safe. 

he doesn't forget the time he forced ryo off the couch and shoved him right into the pool, absolutely determined to get his friend outside by any means necessary, to get him to enjoy life as much as akira enjoyed being with him. 

most importantly, he doesn't forget the way satan cried for him. 

the waver in that broken voice, the desperate begging and the denial of akira's fate, screams wrenched from a devastated heart akira had once doubted even existed, warm and real tears pooling onto his corpse, bent over it in pain, in sorrow, in regret. 

akira doesn't forget many things. he doesn't forget the rawest of moments, the most unadulterated of emotions. 

despite it all, the worst moments to the most brutal of ends, he'll never, ever forget the way he loved ryo. 

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like i should start capitalizing stuff i have a feeling this whole not capitalizing thing is kind of a blow to my potential readers 😔 and i rely on feedback like air  
> anyway sorry if this got super super repetitive i wrote this last year and it much like most other things i write is mostly just 3am word vomit. it is what it is  
> in case you're wondering "hey how the fuck does akira know what happens to him after he dies" i would like to know that too. canon in devilman lady akira knows how ryo reacted after his death so we're going with that  
> i have three more crybaby fics to post! one multi-chapter and two in a series so please look forward to that!  
> sorry for talking so much and thanks for reading! ´˘` ♡♡


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